Messed Up

The above picture should show some nicely developed negatives of photos taken in the recent snow, unfortunately it looks instead like pictures taken inside a cave at midnight with no flash! It only took a fraction of a second. I lost my concentration and opened up the developing tank to the light. I closed the lid again immediately but I knew it was too late. Film is very very sensitive to light and so all 36 or so exposures were lost.

I've just started reading Dallas Willard's book, "Renovation of the Heart". Some words on page 2 resonated with me:

But the situations in which we find ourselves are rarely as important as our response to them.

A ruined film is of course nothing in the context of our lives, where we will face good and bad situations, sometimes overwhelmingly so. But my response to this minor mishap gave me an insight into my own mind in dealing with an albeit insignificant mess up of my own making. My first reaction was to consider giving up and not bother with trying to develop my own films any more and of allowing myself the indulgence of a good sulk and perhaps a good moan too while I was at it.

But then I thought that well I will just learn from this mistake and there's no way I'll ruin my film in the same way again, (though probably I will find many other ways to ruin future films too).

I seem to be the sort of person who can only learn by failing first. I thank God for His overwhelming grace. Time and time again He picks me up and dusts me off and sets me on my feet again. I love Him for that...