Monday, March 30, 2009
There is a time just before I leave the Vestry to take a Sunday Service. It is a special, hallowed time, what the Christian intelligentsia might call Kairos time: (Time as a moment, time as occasion, time as qualitative rather than quantitative, time as significant rather than dimensional).
It seems to always be different and yet in so many ways the same. Some weeks I may be more nervous than others, sometimes I may feel more prepared than others. Sometimes I picture myself like St. Peter about to step out of the boat and walk in faith towards the Lord Jesus, sometimes I feel compelled to kneel on the floor with my head bowed in submission. Often I experience a huge, almost overwhelming sense of my own inadequacy to say or do anything worthwhile for God, unless somehow in some way He is able to work in me and through me. Sometimes I feel inspired, strengthened and energised, other times I feel heavy-hearted, tired and would rather still be in bed, but usually I am fluctuating somewhere between the two extremes.
God is good.